Aftermath

Another scene:

            I woke up in Reno this morning.  The first thing I sensed was being looked at.  The first thing I saw was a pair of enormous, beautiful blue eyes.

            “Daddy,” Alison said.  “You’re home.  Aunt Brittany said you were home, and you are.  Do you know what today is?”

            I shook myself awake internally.  It took me a moment.

            “Do you know what today is, Daddy?”

            “Of course, I do, pumpkin.”  I said with a great big forced smile.  “It’s your birthday.”

            “That’s right, Daddy.”  She said, oh so sincerely.  “It’s my birthday.”  She smiled and shook her head, a spray of blond locks swirling in the light.

            I grabbed her and started pretending to eat her back ribs.  “I’m so hungry I could eat some baby back ribs.”  I said.

            She giggled and threw herself back and forth to avoid my whiskers.  Before long, the two of us were laughing in the middle of my king sized bed.  Eventually, she was done, and subtly let me know that the time for play had passed.  In many ways, Alison was far too old for her three years.

            “You know what, Daddy?”

            “What, honey?”  I asked.

            “I had a dream about mommy last night.”

            “You did?”  I asked.  “How were you sure it was mommy?”

            “Because she looked like Gramma Penny, only really beautiful, and she looked like the picture there.”  She pointed at my picture of Beth on the nightstand.

            I smiled, fortunately Alison couldn’t tell a sad smile from a happy smile.

            “So what did she say?”

            “She was on a hill, and you and her were sitting on the hill looking at the sun over the sand.  She didn’t say anything.  It was sad, Daddy.  I kept asking her why she was sad, but she wouldn’t tell me.”

            “Maybe she can’t.”  I said.  “Maybe she can show you things, but not tell you anything.”

            “Maybe.”  Alison said, somewhat dubiously.  “Why do you think Mommy is sad?”

            “Because she doesn’t get to see her little angel.”  I said.

            “But she can see me.  She comes to my dreams all the time, Daddy.”

            “Maybe she’s sad because she can’t talk to you.”  I said.

            “Maybe.”

            “Where’s your aunt Brittany?”  I asked, changing the topic.

            “She’s making breakfast.  She told me you got home last night and you were here in bed.”

            “Why don’t you go downstairs and see if she’s done with your breakfast, while I get dressed.”  I said.

            She smiled, and the way she wrinkled her nose reminded me of her mother.  I smiled again, a sad, rueful smile.  “Ok,” she said simply.  She gave me a big wet kiss on the cheek, and said, “I love you Daddy.”

            “I love you too, pumpkin.”  I said, as she ran out of the room.

            I dressed casually and relatively quickly, and went downstairs.  Beth’s half-sister, Brittany, was indeed cooking breakfast.

            “Hey,” she said, looking up.  “I heard you get in, but didn’t look up.  What time did you get in last night?”

            “Around one.”  I said.   “Thanks for watching her.”

            “My niece?”  She said, incredulously.  “You’re thanking me for watching the coolest little kid I’ve ever known?”  Alison giggled.

            “What do we have up for today?”  I asked.

            “Penny is picking her up around nine, and she and Little Bit are going to play, while we’re working.  I told Penny you’d be by to pick her up around two.  Does that work for you?”

            “Sure.”  I said.  “Why two?”

            “We have a one o’clock to review the 395 project, it shouldn’t take any more than about forty-five minutes.  Dad wanted you in with me and the crew chiefs on that.”

            “Ok, why nine?”

            “Because we both know where you’ll be as soon as she leaves until eleven.”

            I tried not to think about it.  I’d spent the past three years trying not to think about it.  And even as I knew that trying not to think about it was a waste of time, I tried not to let it show in my eyes, and still a single tear escaped.

            Brittany looked away.

            “Are you back at your place tonight?”  I asked.

            “Only if you want me to be.”  She said.

            “I’m sure Kyle would like to spend some time with you.”  I said.

            “He knows the score, Trey.”  She said.

            “Have him come over for the party.”  I said.  “And you can go home after the party.”

            She smiled, and came over to me and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

            “I miss her too,” she said, gently.  “Go ahead, we both know what you need to do.  Remember, the only thing I need you for today is the meeting at one.  So if you need to be there until then, just be there.”

            I nodded, then went to the table where Alison was eating pancakes and drinking her orange juice.  I looked down at her, mussed her hair up a little and smiled at her.

            “I love you too, Daddy.”  She said. 

            “See you in awhile.  You be nice to Aunt Brittany, and then to Auntie Little Bit.”

            “I will.”  She said.  Then very quietly, she said, “say hi to Mommy for me.”

            I choked back the tears, and nodded.